It’s been a month-long week. Here’s some poetry that boils it down. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever and whatever you’re spending your energy on–I hope it is worthy of your time and love. Take a breath…or seven-hundred.
The Gift of Silence What the silence gave me was the horror of having to sit with my own disasters car-piled up in my head like an apocalypse of trauma each vying for attention on the quiet stage I can’t whack-a-mole them down without ten more sprouting up the what about and the have you forgotten when... I'm the resistant owner of a vice-gripped mind constantly expanding with unsettling pressure What the silence gave me was one full breath, an ocean wave in and out before the panic of being alone in the frayed mess of my life took that air in short, shallow gasps and suffocated my dopamine. What the silence gave me was the truth that I’ve packed it all in too tightly for too long and something must give. But I cannot ‘give’. I was not built to throw away I was not taught to let go. I cannot sit in gifted silence because I cannot stand the sound of my own shit show. Raging its insecurities its expectations like expandable insulation in the cracks of my gray matter. I cannot accept this gift of silence because my thoughts are far too loud.